I don’t really know where to begin. Things have been hard recently. Not feeling at home in Missouri, missing my friends and family In Colorado, and work just seeming harder than ever. Everything kind of came to a head about a week and a half ago when I felt like we where on the verge of just quitting shelterwood and moving back to Colorado. Two weeks ago Courtney stepped down from her position as shift supervisor on the weekends and has been helping to coordinate all of the logistics for tr mission trip. This was a difficult but very necessary step. It has been a difficult position for her and things have just been building up over time. God was faithful, and we where able to have Courtney be kept on my shelterwood for the mission trip position. We are still trying to figure out what to do after the trip but we are taking things one step at a time.
We do still feel led to come back to Colorado, but I realized that my desire to do so a week ago was more out of fear(of being In Missouri forever) than because it was the right time. While I was at church the week I just had a very strong conviction that it wasn’t time to leave yet. I felt God saying, I know things have been rough but I have a plan. I also realized that a lot of my trouble has been brought upon myself. Like I complain and am frustrated that I don’t have a lot of friends or a strong community outside of shelterwood and its probably because I havnt really tried. So I signed up to join the worship team at our church and have been intentional in inviting people over from church to hang out, and I have been very suprised with how much of a difference it has made. Also felt convicted that I was really with drawing socially at shelterwood. I havnt been very relational recently which is not like me but everytime I try to be I just feel really uncomfortable. Granted I have had dozens of very unpleasant(to say the least) experiences with a lot of the kiddos over the last year and a half and I realized that thy had began to take a toll on me so I have been making a list of particular events that stood out from te last year and have been taking time to pray through them and forgive the people who wronged me. This could take awhile but I realized that if I keep holdin onto all this crap I won’t be able to love these kids let alone tolerate them much longer until I surrender these burdens.
Finally the long awaited mission trip is almost a week away. First of all I want to thank everyone who has been praying for us and this trip, we always covet yor prayers. Second a huge thank you to everyone who has blessed us with a financial contribution we have recieved $2900!!! We have just over a week to raise a couple hundred more, so please pray that God will show up and the money will come together in time.
Love brian